The Dragons Ponder Death
by HiraHayami
Summary: See, this is what happens when I baby-sit. I write stupid crack stories about stupid kid shows with dead bodies, child neglect, Mary-Sue bashing, and idiotic endings. If you want a laugh, just freaking read it. If you have no sense of humor, ignore me.


So, umm, yeah. Enjoy.

And please remember that I don't actually like watching 'Dragon Tales', I just baby-sit. Like, a lot. And please also remember that I keep my ideas to myself in front of small… ish… child-like beings. Maybe.

*****((((((())))))))&&&&&&&^%%%%%$*^#%%$^&%*^* (Yeah, I know words.)

One day, in the vast magical world of Dragon Land, four friends, Ord, Zack, Weezy, and Cassy went exploring in Rock Tumbling Summit. They came across an inert lump of something that looked relatively like Max and Emmy, lying on the ground. They went closer. Cassy kicked it. Nothing happened.

"W-w-w-w-w-what I-I-I-is that t-t-t-thing…?" Ord stuttered.

"I don't know. Maybe I should try kicking it again," Cassy suggested.

"Well, whatever it is, I looooooooove it!" Weezy added.

"Weezy, we don't even know what it is yet; how can you possibly 'love it'?" Zack, the more sensible of the freakish conjoined twin dragon creature pointed out, scoffing.

"Hmm… kicking it doesn't seem to be doing any good, guys… but maybe we can call in someone… or someones… who do know what to do!" The small, pink dragon said, clearly believing herself better than those around her.

"… Max and Emmy!" They yelled out to no one in particular, in unison. They ran off to call forth the mentioned duo.

(ha. Its like, a lot of fishes.)

Max and Emmy where sitting in their noticeably childish room, staring into a clear glass bowl. Inside was a small golden fish, about the size of a ping-pong ball. The fish was floating on its back in the water. It also wasn't moving.

"Mom! Something's wrong with Fluffy. Come and see?" The smaller one, Max, yelled out.

"Yeah, I think he's sick or something!" Emmy continued.

Their mother ran up, but the camera moved away so her identity could be kept safe.

"Oh, no… umm… err… hey, you two!" The disembodied voice that was their mother rang out. "Let's play a game with Fluffy. See, Fluffy's been cramped up here in his bowl all this time and he misses his friends and family, so let's send him back!"

"B-but mom~… I don't wanna send Fluffy away…" Max whined.

"Shut up, you little brat- I mean… you want him to be happy, don't you? He really wants to go back, for friendship and relationships and caring and all that crap," his mother answered, starting out sharply. "So, anyways, here's the game. We go to the communal bathrooms at the Community Center, with Fluffy, throw him into the toilet, then flush. He'll be back with his friends in no time at all."

"… All right…" The two kids answered together.

Their mother left the room. The camera view went back to the way it was before. Just then, a large drawer beneath the windowsill started glowing.

"The dragons are calling!" They beamed at each other, unknowing of the horrors that awaited them there.

They grabbed at the drawer at the same time, ripped it open, and drew carefully out a small rainbow box. Out of the rainbow box came a rainbow rock. Ohh, but it wasn't a rock. It was a magical scale shed from a dragon from an alternate universe where dragons are the dominant species, the next lesser one being a breed of dandelion which by some terrible cliché are actually part lion, yet are probably vegetarians, making them cannibals, and by some other cliché, the dragons eat poorly named foods that are oddly literate, such as dragon berries and juice vines, have magical pouches which they use to carry impossible objects undetectable by radar, which also makes it incredibly easy to hide a murder. And by a third, horribly irritating cliché, the only humans to ever visit find **none of this weird in any… possible… way… **

"I wish, I wish, upon this rhyme, to fly with dragon in the land of caring and solutions and all that crap," Emmy said.

"What does 'crap' mean?" Max asked.

"I dun no. I heard it from Mommy," she answered.

"Oh. Okay."

Then they disappeared in a whirl of 2D dragons that flew off of their wallpaper.

((((((((((((()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()())))))))))))

Back in Dragon Land, the four dragon friends where waiting for their friends. The said waited for persons appeared in a flurry of wind and the same 2D dragons.

"Hey! Max, Emmy, over here!" Zack rang out, even though he and his three friends where standing right beside the human duo.

"Hi, guys," Max, said happily.

"How's it goin'?" Emmy asked.

"Pretty good, but we have a problem," Cassy replied.

"Really? Then maybe we can help. What is it?" Emmy inquired back.

And thus, the four dragons explained about the non-moving figure in Tumbling Rock Summit. Afterwards, they all went over there to take a look.

The figure was small, wearing torn shreds of white silk that looked like they used to be an elegant dress. It had excessively long dark purple hair that also had lavender and white streaks going through it. Its feet where bare, but it had golden bangles on all four limbs. They turned it over. The face was neither too old nor too young, like a girl in her early teens. It was beautiful, completely clear of blemishes, with the exception of a long black and purple tattoo on the left side of her face. Its chest suggested that it was a female.

"Hmm… I think I know what it is…" Emmy said suddenly.

"Really? Then what is it?" Weezy asked, confused that their young friend knew, but 'Zacky' didn't.

"I think its called a… a… Sue," she replied.

"Gazoontite," they all said at once.

"No, no, that's not what I meant. This… thing… is called a Sue."

"What gave you that idea?" Cassy asked softly, pretending to be polite, like the sociopath she is.

"Well, that piece of paper nailed onto its stomach to me." Emmy replied.

In fact, there was a scrap of paper nailed unceremoniously onto its stomach area. It said,

This Sue is property of the 'Sue Murdering Institute'; A.K.A. 'The Sue Haters', 'The Anti-Sue Group', 'The Group of Obnoxious Sue-Filled Story Flamers', and 'Just Say Moe!!'

_Raging Otakus and HiraHayami sponsor this newest kill._

_Thank you, unless you _are_ a Sue; then we say, 'WATCH YUR BACK, YA OBNOXIOUS LOSER!!'_

_Bye-Bye~! ^. ^_

"Ohmigosh! This… Sue… is _dead_!!" Max screeched.

"… What does dead mean?" The dragons asked.

"Well, it means that-"

"Ugh!! All right, cut, cut, cut! Who wrote this script??!!" The director of Dragon Tales screamed through his megaphone.

"Umm, well, I did, s-s-s-s-sir…" A small, bishi-looking intern stuttered out, his freakishly feminine face looking up cutely at his boss.

"Aww, I just can't say no to that face of yours, Bis Honen… Okay, I'll let it go, just for you." The director turned away from Bis Honen. "All right, boys, let's wrap it up! Never let this episode run!!"

"Er… its too late, sir… the episode already aired…"

And thus, the Dragon Tales industry got sued by many, many, angry parents and child welfare societies.

The end!!


End file.
